Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Quote of the Day

"This election is going to rely on the undecided,and who is more undecided than stoned slackers? Ice cream or pretzels? Ice cream or pretzels? What's it going to be?"
- Jon Stewart, on "The O'Reilly Factor"

Which reminds me, what's the deal with undecided voters? Make up your minds! These campaigns go on forever, what exactly is it that you are looking or waiting for?

You Can Never Trust the Bullpen or Why Do the Reds Still Care?

My beloved Chicago Cubs lost a heartbreaker today. They were within one out of staying atop the National League Wild Card standings but LaTroy Hawkins gave up a triple and then a double, and the Cubs then went on to lose in extra innings (of course). I thought that this year might be the year the Cubs pull through and prove me and the their other millions of beleaguered fans wrong. But now I am afraid that the injuries that beset the Cubs earlier in the year, and the poor bullpen that has dogged them all season long, will team together in the end to make me have to quote Rob Schneider's immortal character from The Waterboy, "Oh no! We suck again!"

Monday, September 27, 2004

Monday Observations

5. Summer is on its last legs here in central Texas. Just when I thought the obscene heat would never go away, it kept on being extremely hot, but now I think it is finally going to relent. Which leads to...

4. Fall was my favorite season in the midwest.
In the midwest fall is a season that you feel, smell, and see - ADVANTAGE MIDWEST FALL

Texas fall is only notable because it's not ridiculously hot, but unlike the midwest you don't have a horrendously miserable Winter ready to sneak up on you any day - ADVANTAGE TEXAS FALL

3. The Bears have lost their starting quarterback , Rex Grossman, to a season-ending injury. Devastating. So now the Bears will probably not win many games, but the Bears weren't supposed to win very many games in the first place. Not as devastating a setback as I first thought.

2. When one is trying to avoid unhealthy foods, grocery shopping is one of the least enjoyable types of shopping.

1. No matter what work cafeterias do to spice up their image and make it seem that their food is more palatable, the food still tastes like crusty cafeteria food .

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Boiler Room review

The Plot
Rebellius youth (Giovanni Ribisi) tries to win affection of cranky father by getting a legitimate job as a stock broker, but he begins to wonder if his job and his millionaire co-workers are as legitimate as he originally thought...Moral dilemmas and dysfunctional family bonding shouting matches ensue!

The Good
Ribisi's Volvo Wagon - No explanation necessary

Ben Affleck's character - his rants were like a mixture of Jim Rome and Donald Trump. He was like Rome because he was cool and he knew it, and he was like Trump because he kept talking about how rich he was (has to be Rome and Trump, because Trump is never cool). Even if you think Affleck is lame, which I do, you have to admit he pulled everything together for this role.

Ribisi quoting NOTORIOUS B.I.G. ("you either sling crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot") - white guys that are into rap works (see Michael Bolton character in Office Space). I think it's because they either come off cool, or goofy. And either of those is all right, compelling you know.

The Bad

Vin Diesel, Scott Caan, and Ribisi's other co-workers that aren't worth the time it would take me to look up their names on IMDB - Vin Diesel is the big dope that the audience is supposed to sympathize with, just like he is in every movie. Scott Caan is the hot-head jerk, just like he is in every movie. Everyone else doesn't even matter.

the language - gratuitous f-bombs, innapropriate and unprofessional in work environments, but maybe that's what they were going for.

the brokers nights on the town - they consume liquor, beat up a guy, trash talk real brokers, and get dissed by homosexuals. Waste of movie time.

What in the World?!?

Jamie Kennedy's character - was he even really in this movie? I'm starting to wonder. His only lines were snoop dogg-like -izzle rants. I'm thinking that he just sneaked onto the set and hung out. His role in this movie may well have been the first Jamie Kennedy Experiment skit.

The Bottom Line

This movie has its moments. If you work in sales, or corporate America at all, you will be able to relate with it on some levels. In fact, it should make you feel better about the way things are at work. Watch this movie if: (1) It's on television and (2) if you're at the video store and somehow your decision comes down to Boiler Room vs. Rollerball (Or other movie of its ilk). That's actually too harsh of an assessment, I'll give this 2 1/2 stars out of 5. You will watch this and be entertained, but you may question things afterwards.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

more on kerry windsurfing

I mentioned John Kerry's penchant for windsurfing before (see "4 More Drops of Knowledge" post). I am not the only one that has noticed. From Foxnews:

"The Bush-Cheney camp launched an ad Wednesday titled, 'Windsurfing,' which features Kerry windsurfing — one of his favorite pastimes — left and right. The Republican camp says the Democrat's position on Iraq, education and health care shift 'whichever way the wind blows.'
'In which direction would John Kerry lead?' asks the ad."

- Windsurfing Kerry

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

good news at work

I found out today that tomorrow our team gets to go to the Alamo Drafthouse to watch Boiler Room and have a fajita buffet. This is good news for a number of reasons: I will get to miss a half day of work, I like free fajitas, and I will get a chance to see Boiler Room again. It has probably been about three years since I last saw Boiler Room so I wonder if I will like it as much as I did the first time that I saw it.

Boiler Room was the movie that turned me on to the coolness of Volvo wagons. Giovanni Ribisi's character drives one in it, and I've been into them ever since.

Speaking of Giovanni Ribisi, I saw Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow this past weekend. It was quite good. I wouldn't go as far as Roger Ebert did, and give it four stars, but I definitely think it's worth the price of admission (especially if the price of admission is a $2.75 matinee). It won't change your life, but it's certainly better than most of the movies out in theaters right now.

Monday, September 20, 2004

What's Wrong With This Picture?

I have a running joke with a number of people about how every Men's Health issue is the same. Every cover contains the words: "Sex", "Abs", "Muscles" , "Lose Weight". The funny thing is, when you subscribe, they take off all the words that are designed to catch your eye. I guess they just figure, "Well, we got 'em now. No sense beating a dead horse. They know we've got tips on sex, abs, muscles, and losing weight."

Men's Health Posted by Hello

wrong again

Well, I was way off on my Ryder Cup take. The Euros smashed our face in. Makes me glad I never made a post about the U.S. Basketball team.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

the reason the ryder cup is more cool than the olympics

The Ryder Cup is a golf tournament that pits the best players from the United States vs. the best European golfers. The Olympics gives the United States a chance to humble individual countries, the Ryder Cup gives the United States a chance to humble a whole continenent! Also, when America loses an event in the Olympics, the reaction is something like " I can't belive we lost to stinkin' Puerto Rico!", but when America loses the Ryder Cup the reaction is "They were drawing from 25 countries, we were drawing from 1!" Hopefully we won't have to utilize that last line this year though, because right about now (11:42 CST ) it looks as though the Americans are waking up, and catching up.

See ESPN for updates:
Ryder Cup Updates

Friday, September 17, 2004

The Frozen Tundra of Lambert Field

A while back John Kerry was in Wisconsin, and he mistakenly said "Lambert Field" instead of Lambeau field. I had not heard about this, but today Jim Rome completely pummeled Kerry because of it. This is surprising, because Rome generally leans to the left, but even he was appaled at how Kerry is so out of touch with regular Americans. Apparently Richie Rich Kerry is too engrossed with his yuppie activities (see "4 More Drops of Knowledge" below) to relate to the common man when it comes to the most popular sport in America, and one of America's most legendary stadiums.

See Links for Lambert:
The Packer Faithful

Football Fans for Truth

Thursday, September 16, 2004


I think I've found a radio station that I like. It's called BOB FM and it plays a wide variety of music. I would say that, up to this point, most radio stations in Austin fit nicely into a couple of categories:
(1) The Lil' John stations - the urban stations have now decided to focus solely on playing songs by lil john (and songs with appearances by lil john)
(2) Lame Country stations - because 95% of country music is lame, and there's a number of these, because this is Texas, and I think it's mandatory to listen to country music while driving a huge pickup truck (and there are TONS of huge pickup trucks) either that or
(3) Crazy Mexican Music channels - I haven't heard a lot , but I really have no idea what is going on with Tejano music these days, the songs are indescribably odd.
(4) Delila stations - These stations are adult contemporary stations that are either playing Delila (of Delila after Dark) or a Delila knockoff 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

Bob FM plays all sorts of different music, kind of like the random selections of music that I have on my computer (from Bigstar to Nirvana to Newsboys to Wyclef Jean and so on). So Bob FM ( )is a welcome change of pace.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Wednesday Observations

* Why do people drive their motorcycles to work when there's a 20% chance of rain? I saw many motorcycles today at my work parking lot. So what people are thinking is that the payoff, the joy they get from riding their motorcycle to work is worth the inconvenience of riding home in a rainstorm. "Hmm, 1 in 5 chance that I'll be completely miserable on my ride home...yeah that's worth it."

* On Jim Rome: As much as I enjoy his program, he is in the habit of beating topics to death. No matter what the topic is, chances are you can shut off his program, come back 10 minutes later, and he'll be saying the same things he was saying 10 minutes ago.

Monday, September 13, 2004


Is there a reason that Becker is on WGN all the time? Is there anything worse than turning to WGN expecting to see a Cubs game and finding Becker? Wait, maybe there is, turning to WGN expecting to see a Cubs game and finding Will&Grace. Yes, WGN has certainly cornered the market on showing the worst reruns the most.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Banishing Back Pain

A couple weeks ago I was moving some furniture, and the next day I woke up with some back pain. I had been able to avoid back pain pretty much all of my life, but I guess it's a sign of my aging, and also a sign that I need to get in shape...Anyways, here's what I learned about nursing a painful lower back, hopefully it will help you if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.

1. Exercises -
DON'T - bench press, biceps curls, and shoulder press. I made the mistake of having workouts involving these exercises and I paid for it with worse pain.
DO - pelvic tilts, crunches, knee to shoulder exercises, wall sits. You need to strengthen your core to get back into the swing of things

2. Therapy -
NOT SO GREAT - ICY HOT and Thermacare patches overpriced and awkward. They'll make your back more sticky than give you any kind of relief.

GREAT - Heating pad, hot baths, hot showers, hot tub. More relief, and less stickiness.

3. Pills -
GOOD - Ibuprofen, Vitamin C
BAD - didn't take any bad ones

Onward and forward, Daylyn and I have joined a 6-week "AB LAB" class. So, hopefully I will strengthen my core and fend off future back pain episodes.

More Whining About the Cost of Sports ...

3 years ago... i was in college in ohio, and i could listen to every single chicago cubs game, and every single chicago bears game on the internet for free...

present day...i live in texas, so i am once again having to live without many cubs and bears television broadcasts, but now, i cannot listen to either of my beloved teams for free over the internet. major league baseball and the national football league have both struck deals with the devil (real networks), and have barred local radio stations from broadcasting games over the internet.

apparently, mlb and the nfl believe that there are enough fans willing to throw down $34.95 for internet broadcasts to justify disillusioning regional expatriates. Making fans pay to listen to radio broadcasts on their computer is lame.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

and i thought i liked football...

central texas has gone longhorn football crazy. you know those shirts that say "golf is life..the rest is just details"? when it comes to football, it really is life for a majority of the population here. go anywhere in the greater hill country area, and the ratio of people wearing longhorn garb, to people not wearing longhorn garb is about 5 to 1. i was walking to my van in the dell parking lot, and no lie, i saw a guy that had his painted. it was half burnt orange, and half white. he was an actual, real-life, face painter at work. the sad thing is, i like the longhorns. maybe not as much as the next guy, but i do have more than a casual interest in them. the laws of supply and demand teamed with the rabid fandom of the local residents has made attending a longhorn game an expenditure akin to a small appliance. and for me, the utility derived from a 3 hour long football game is too low to warrant the $59/ ticket that it would cost me (or even the $29.95 to watch this week's game on pay per view). the really sad thing, is that the mob of texas fans that are devouring tickets and pay per viewings at any cost are helping to make Mack Brown (their favorite scapegoat and the crutch of longhorn football) a very rich man. Ah, the perils of supply, demand, and texas football fans' insatiability.

4 more drops of knowledge

In honor of Brett Favre, and the number of "more years" W will be elected to come November - here's 4 random knowledge drops...

4. How come every time that John Kerry takes a day off from campaigning, and they show him on the news, he's partaking of a yuppie quasi-extreme sport? In the winter he was dissing secret service members for getting in his way on the snowboarding slopes, and the other day I saw him windsurfing while wearing old navy board shorts... can you say 3/4 life crisis?

3. The return of the NFL and College Football is the perfect way to forget the lameness that is the Olympics

2. i've heard 3 people refer to the weekend preceding the first monday of september as "memorial day weekend" -- memorial day is in may, labor day is in september - Get it right or pay the price.

1. what's the deal with the delegates at political conventions? is there some kind of Chotchkies-like flair requirement? or a prize for the person in the goofiest outfit to be shown repeatedly on national television?