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Saturday, October 30, 2004

A Cubs Fan's Take On the World Series

The Red Sox beat down of the Cardinals in the World Series was so thorough, St. Louis and everything associated with it is humiliated. Even rapper and Cardinals superfan Nelly has auctioned off all of his St. Louis Cardinals paraphernalia and he now also refuses to peform his classic "Country Grammar" because it includes the lyric "I'm from the Lou and I'm proud".

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Who Could Vote for Kerry?



He is scary. If he becomes president, I will be sorely disappointed. I have found Hugh Hewitt's website to be the best source of intelligent optimism regarding the election. I can't put into words how ridiculous Kerry is, Hugh does a much better job.


Monday, October 25, 2004

Everybody's Tech Support Is In India

People just don't get it. Today, I actually had someone from India complain about the tech support in India. It's a fact of life folks. If you need help, people in India got your back. It's like that song lyric, "Everybody wants to go to heaven, nobody wants to die." Everybody wants American tech support, nobody wants to pay for it.

Follow this link , for a great bit from Late Night with Conan O'Brien regarding Indian tech support

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Droppin Knowledge #73

Ashlee Simpson got caught lip-syncing on SNL last night. You have to think when something goes that wrong in the sound booth, that someone did that to her on purpose. To sound guy, it might even be worth losing your job to completely embarrass her. I remember Britney Spears crashing and burning on SNL a number of times, but at least she came by it honestly.

I don't know what is worse, lip-syncing pop singers, or the Chicago Bears quarterbacks. Quinn and Craig Krenzel combined for a whopping ninety-one yards passing against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The Rex Grossman injury is hurting us more I than initially thought it would.

My favorite former Caedmon's Call member, Derek Webb (not a lip-syncer), has a new album coming out on November 9th. Check out one of the new tracks, "Reputation", for free here.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

If Sports Were Like Reality TV

If sports were like realty tv shows, today you would be seeing commercials hyping the MLB playoffs. The commercials would go something like this:

FIRST IMAGE: Boston Red Sox celebrating at Yankee Stadium after their dramatic victory in game 7 of the ALCS
VOICE OVER THE IMAGES: The Red Sox thought they had completed the greatest comeback of all time, and they thought they had rid themselves of their archnemesis, but boy are they in for a surprise!
NEXT IMAGE: Shadows of Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter and company menacingly stepping out of a dugout.
VOICE OVER THE IMAGES: There's some people that still have another thing or two to say about comebacks. Tune in to FOX Friday night for the twist of the century!

FADE TO FOX LOGO

This is a funny scenario to think of, but with the way that Reality TV is pervading every facet of our pop culture, is one of the original Reality TV dramas (sports) the next frontier? Or has David Stern and the NBA already crossed that line? You can't script October, but can you meddle with it?

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Debbie Downer - Election Edition

Has anybody noticed that John Kerry bears a striking resemblence to a current beloved Saturday Night Live character? That's right, Debbie Downer !


THE ECONOMY
"America’s economy is getting stronger. I am optimistic about our future, not only because of what I see today, but because of what I know we have overcome.”
- President George W. Bush

"America's economic growth over the past twelve months is the fastest in almost 20 years. Unemployment is at 5.6 percent, the same figure as during Clinton's 1996 re-election campaign. Voters realize that the Democrat double standard for the economy is at odds with reality."
-Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA)

"Americans are working harder, earning less, and paying more for health care, college, and taxes. Corporate profits are soaring, the government keeps expanding, but the opportunities for our middle-class are shrinking. Wah waaah"
- Debbie Downer/Kerry website


NATIONAL SECURITY

"We will defend the peace by opposing and preventing violence by terrorists and outlaw regimes. We will preserve the peace by fostering an era of good relations among the world’s great powers. And we will extend the peace by seeking to extend the benefits of freedom and prosperity across the globe."
- Bush endorsed National Security Strategy of the United States of America

"It's official our leadership has walked away from more than a century of American leadership in the world to embrace a new - and dangerously ineffective - American disregard for the world. They bully instead of persuade. They act alone when they could assemble a team. They confuse leadership with going it alone. They fail to understand that real leadership means standing by your principles and rallying others to join you. Wah wah waaaah"
- Debbie Downer/ Kerry website

FELINE AIDS
" It's the number 1 killer of American domestic cats! Wah wah"
- John Kerry

I could go on, but to paraphrase another SNL character, Dieter, "My story bores me, now is the time on SPROCKETS when we dance."

Free Flat Screen!

This is not a scam! MC Hammer might say that this offer is "2 legit 2 quit". If you'd like a free flat screen (and who wouldn't!), all you have to do is create an account, sign up for a free trial, and sign up 8 friends. I have already signed up, and I would recommend it to everybody I know. Hopefully at least 8 of you agree.

Let me reiterate, this is not a scam or a hoax. See this article in WIRED. You can cancel your free trial anytime.

Use this link FREE FLAT SCREENS to make sure that I get credit.

Also, I would not be opposed to doling out Gmail invites to those that I am able to verify have signed up using my referral link.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Thursday Thoughts

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Everyone has a plan until they get hit."
- Mike Tyson

Tyson said this in his prime, when he was going through opponents like Ken Jennings through a season of Jeopardy. It spoke to tenacity and aggression trumping the best laid plans. Ironically, Tyson's plans to get out of debt were probably dashed by a fourth round knockout at the hands of Danny Williams a few months ago . It used to be one of my favorite quotes, and while it may not be meaningless today, it certainly has a different meaning to me, and Tyson.

WEEKEND CHALLENGE

Can I spend three hours this weekend being productive instead of watching football? I don't have to cut out football altogether, but I'd like to see what I could accomplish if I used three hours of my normal five to six to do something else. Updates to follow...


Monday, October 11, 2004

One Reason College Is Better Than Work

Last night I was sick. Not terribly ill, but sick enough to not feel up to doing anything but conk out at 9pm. Ideally, I would have slept until I woke up, and spent the rest of the day pampering myself. Unfortunately, my line of business frowns on sick days. A sick day is equivalent to shooting myself in the foot. So I woke up and went to work, and ended up feeling better nonetheless. Not ideal, but not bad.

The problem is I had no control over the situation. I was going to work. I had already convinced myself before the question "Should I take a sick day?" came into my head. If I was in college and I wanted to skip a couple classes, I'd skip them. In college, I was responsible for my performance, and I was the one that was most affected by my performance, and it always worked out.

It almost makes me think that I would like to be a sole propietor, but right now I don't have any ideas, or any capital, or as Napoleon Dynamite would say "I don't have any skills".

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Oklahoma 12 Texas 0

Quick thoughts on the Red River Shootout:
* First time Texas has been shutout in over twenty years.
* Valiant effort by the Texas defense, they stepped up and were physical, even if the offense wasted their efforts.
* Derrick Johnson is the best linebacker in the country.
* The outcome of this game, while unsettling, is better than a 65-13 drubbing (last year's game).
* Adrian Peterson is better than Cedric Benson.
* Texas' offense was totally unprepared for this game.

Conclusion:
Texas was in this game up until the last five minutes. It doesn't matter though, a loss is a loss. A fifth loss in a row to your hated rival adds to the sting. This game will probably eliminate Texas from the Big 12 championship hunt. Texas fans will be calling for Mack Brown's head , and for good reason. But this season is not a disaster yet. If Texas runs the table, which they very well may, they will probably get a shot at a BCS invite (making Mack safe for another year). If Texas loses again this year, and is faced with the Holiday Bowl again, Mack should definitely be fired.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

What' s On My Nomad

Magazines are always asking celebrities "What's on your iPod?" Invariably, the celebrity will respond with a few songs from pretentious, artsy bands that nobody has ever heard of, in an effort to make themselves look cool and cutting- edge. I don't have an iPod. I would walk across hot coals before I would buy an iPod over a Dell DJ . I do, however, have a Creative Nomad Muvo. It won't hold thousands of songs, it'll hold about 25. That's just enough songs for a good workout, with an allowance for skipping some songs that I regret putting on it.

Anyways, Here's what's actually on my Nomad right now. For better or worse, these are the songs I thought I would want to listen to and a brief explanation of each:

1. Guster , "Happier" - favorite lyric, the hook "You've wasted every moment of your Saturdays and your Sundays."
2. dc Talk , "In the Light" - this is a good cover of the Charlie Peacock song, and my favorite part of the song is Charlie's brief appearance at the end.
3. Jars of Clay, "The Eleventh Hour (live)" - "I won't give up, I'm giving you a chance to blow my mind" , one of my current faves.
4. Jars of Clay, "Revolution (live)" - skipped this one last time I worked out, won't make the next playlist.
5. Jars of Clay, "Flood (live)" - One of the great modern rock songs. If you listen to a halfway decent modern rock radio station, they still play this song. Perfect for any workout.
6. Jars of Clay, "Crazy Times (live)" - I used to think crazy times was just a flood knockoff, but this live version is actually better than the live flood from Jars' Furthermore cd
7. Jars of Clay, "Redemption" - One too many Jars' songs, I had just bought Furthermore and copied this one onto the Nomad sight unseen (or hear unheard?). It will be purged off the Nomad for future usages.
8. Guster, "Fa Fa" - The first Guster song I remember from the first time my brother played me the cd. Still one of my favorites.
9. dc Talk, "Jesus Freak" - Toby Mac's raps makes this song, that and the chorus. As the centerpiece of the album that moved dctalk more towards rock, it's funny that the best parts of the best song are the rap sequences.
10. Alice Deejay, "Better Off Alone" - this song just has a few lyrics, the rest is beats and beeps. Surprisingly good though, in A Night At The Roxbuy kind of way.
11. Guster , "Barrel of a Gun" - best part "4,3,2,1 Went out the barrel of a gun" I can't hear this song without thinking of all the Guster fans counting down "4,3,2,1" on their fingers at the Guster concerts.
12. dcTalk "Between You and Me" - I was in a dcTalk mood
13. Grits, "Ooh Ahh" - This has been on the Nomad for over 10 months, and shows no signs of going anywhere. Favorite lyric (tie) "The bliss between giving my all and giving up" or "Bad characteristics covered in Christ's blood"
14. Blessid Union of Souls, "Light in Your Eyes" - Good song, but I realized once I was listening to it, that I'm not in the mood for it.
15. Audioslave, "Like A Stone" - Won't make the next list
16. dcTalk "Supernatural" - 2 too many dcTalk songs
17. dcTalk "The Hardway" - 3 too many dcTalk songs, if this was the first dcTalk on the nomad, it'd be perfect, but by this time, I'm all dctalk'd out.
18. Nelly, "Air Force Ones" - This is my favorite song about shoes, by far. Air Force Ones are classic shoes, and this is a classic song about shoes.
19. The Roots, "Seed 2.0" - The video for this song was on all the time at Central State when I would workout at their weight room. I may buy the album from Wal-Mart (for the editing).
20. Public Enemy feat. Anthrax, "Bring Tha Noize" - I downloaded this during my Public Enemy phase, not near as cool as "Welcome to the Terrordome"
21. Craig Mack featuring Puff Daddy, Notorious B.I.G. and others "Flava In Ya Ear (remix)" - Really crappy, makes me like rap music less.

I realized after writing down my current playlist, that many people may not have heard of these bands. I now wonder if I'm as bad as the celebrities in magazines. I also wonder who cares what I'm listening to, but then, who cares what Drew Barrymore is listening to.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Awkward Moments

Today I made the mistake of assuming that everyone in America knows that Wednesday is referred to as "Hump Day". I think it was in the second grade that I first learned this, but apparently, there are people that have gone their whole life without this knowledge. I was on the phone with a customer, and as I sometimes have to do, I was filling in the down times with small talk while I was finding something on the computer. I said "How's your hump day?" The customer, who was a female, seemed taken aback. I continued, "You know Hump Day, after we get through today, the week is downhill to the weekend. You've never heard that expression?". No, she had not heard that expression before. Oh.

So for the uneducated, a better explanation of Hump Day:

hump day: Wednesday, the middle of the work week, over the hump.
example, "Brian says if you can get through hump day, the rest of the week is easy. "

from Wayne Magnuson's English Idioms

Monday, October 04, 2004

Monday Night Football Thoughts

The Austin area is at DEFCON 3 in preparation for the Red River Shootout (University of Texas vs. Oklahoma University's annual football game). At this point, people are finalizing their travel plans, incessantly discusssing possible outcomes of the game, and sports radio stations are altering their reguarly scheduled programming to make room for more UT-OU coverage. It's cool, because for one week people's minds are at least partially off of all the other things that are going on in the world.

This is really a huge rivalry. I grew up with Cubs-Cardinals, Bears-Packers, and Notre Dame-Michigan, but they don't even come close. The only rivalry that is on par with this is Ohio State-Michigan. I remember working at a mall in southwest Ohio, and seeing just about everybody in the mall gathered around Sears' television screens to watch Ohio State knock off Michigan. It was as if man was landing on the moon for the first time. The crazy thing was, these weren't even the hardcore fans. The hardcore fans would never be caught in a mall when the game of the year was going on. These were just the casual observer fans, and they were all there, glued to the televisions.

Speaking of football craziness, I'm really looking forward to Friday Night Lights coming out in theaters Friday. I will definitely catch it at some point this weekend. It appears as if it may be to football movies what Hoosiers is to basketball movies, except better because it's set in Texas and not Indiana.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Ready for 2005

Reasons to look forward to 2005/ be glad 2004 is over:

10. Extra day in February has made 2004 unusually long
9. Tired of the Presidential campaign
8. The Olympics made 2004 irretrievably lame
7. 2004 Major League Baseball Season = extreme disappointment
6. One year closer to having a cool nickname for the decade (waiting for "the teens" starting in 2010)
5. Season 4 of 24 kicks off January 2005
4. Star Wars Episode III
3. First year that I'll be able to rent a car at all car rental companies (after 25th birthday in March)
2. So undisciplined, waiting for New Year's Resolutions for attempts at self-improvement
1. Looking forward to resurgence of FUBU clothing line

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Swan's Saturday Sports

The Chicago Cubs sealed their fate today with an 8-6 loss to the Atlanta Braves. The loss dashed the Cubs miniscule hopes of winning the National League Wild Card. For the 96th year in a row, wait til next year

The Texas Longhorns bashed in the Baylor Bears heads today (44-14), just as everyone expected. Three of the Horns four victories have come against complete stiffs (Baylor, Rice, North Texas). Next week, of course, is the Red River Shootout and the hated Oklahoma Sooners, definitely not stiffs. The question is this, will the Longhorns cupcake schedule leave them well-rested for the Sooners, or did the lack of serious competition make them soft and a step slow? We'll know next week.

Notre Dame is losing badly to Purdue, hopefully this not the end of the Irish resurgence. USC and Stanford will be tough, but even four losses is better than last year's seven. Let's just hope they beat everybody else.